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Politics Quotes by Bill Maher

67 Politics quotes by Bill Maher

All Politics quotes Bill Maher’s page

A TV screen flashes a headline about a trillion dollars spent on bad mortgages, showing how quickly government actions can overwhelm. Maher’s quotes point out that the world is shifting faster than jokes can keep up, and that staying silent about politics is a neglect of freedom. He also riffs on gun fans, party slogans, and vaccine choices.

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“Do not fuck with gun nuts because they are nuts about their guns.”

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“He sold Syria way better than he sold this.”

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“Kadafi is a zombie in a pillbox hat, that's what he is!”

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Germs do not have a political party.

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“Every day in America is a day with a shooting.”

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“This is the opposite of the free market.”

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Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!

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George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

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“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”

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“We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels & free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep & conformists.”

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We've been on a long break and I've just been kicking back, doing nothing. Like our government.

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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

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“We're a complacent society, hard to get riled up in the first place, and then when we do, it's misdirected.”

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There are two things that you have to lie to get through. One is politics, and the other is marriage.

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And he said that 47%-that's pretty high-47% of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And then he…

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If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and…

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“We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes…

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Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about…

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“We should stop worrying so much about the price of gasoline and start considering its cost . You really want to be…

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“New Rule: It's okay for the president to play ball in the house. It's easy to judge and say this scene detracts…

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I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than…

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In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned…

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...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely…

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Look at the list of liberals who are active in politics, if not running. Barbra Streisand, Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Springsteen, Spielberg...…

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The federal government... announced a plan to spend, like, a trillion of taxpayer dollars to buy out bad mortgages and debt. Wall…

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Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he…

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Politicians will promise some pretty ridiculous things. They will promise a chicken in every pot. They'll promise that they'll keep Social Security…

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Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone…

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“New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there…

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“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word "France." Like just calling something French is…

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“New Rule: Now that liberals have taken back the word "liberal," they also have to take back the word "elite." By now…

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“New Rule: Since Glenn Beck is clearly onto us, liberals must launch our plan for socialist domination immediately. Listen closely, comrades, I've…

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“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop complaining about Hollywood values. It's Oscar time again, which means two things: (1) I've got to…

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“New Rule: America must stop bragging it's the greatest country on earth, and start acting like it. I know this is uncomfortable…

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“New Rule: Republicans must stop pitting the American people against the government. Last week, we heard a speech from Republican leader Bobby…

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“New Rule: Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. I refer to the case of Van Jones, the man the…

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“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams…

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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.

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Don't you think that being a person of faith has become a third rail in American politics? If you want to run…

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“We convince ourselves that even our shameless waste, our unchecked consumption and our appalling ignorance of anyplace in the world except our…

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More by Bill Maher

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the…

To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't…

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,…

The food is out of this world!

New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the…

If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.

“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures…

I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is…

“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives…

So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.

What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a…

“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”