Government - they used to teach it in college. It's actually something you should study and learn and know how to do.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It's kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald's and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rand Paul and Chris Christie both said vaccinations should be a choice, not a government mandate. Because when have Republicans ever told… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: You don't have to teach both sides of a debate if one side is a load of crap. President Bush… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
"Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My thinking is, government is really there to do the things that people absolutely can't do for themselves. And that's mostly involved… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“But what is it that drives haters crazy with rage? Many times, it's being ignored. To a person with pride, being ignored… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Faced with our addiction to oil, what does our leadership say? Get more of it! Strange when you consider their answer to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Republicans: 'we fought the good fight' - yeah, it woulda been worth it if we could have prevented just one poor kid… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison;… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If we want to find a place to cut government waste, we must start with the DEA rubber duck. Yes,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin said perhaps the most irresponsible thing I've ever heard any politician say. She said, 'The only thing that stops a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Americans today confuse freedom with not being asked to sacrifice. The fact that you can't have everything you want exactly when you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Donald Trump got the power of the government behind him now. He didn't have that before when he was just a clown.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: You can't put a windmill in your campaign ad if you voted against every single bill that might lead to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
