The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning. — Charlie Sheen Copy Share Image
Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin. — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Virginia is the place, where, technologically speaking, they will burn people at the stake for possessing such things as toasters. — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Democracy is a gleaming Excalibur - let's not use it just to mend the toaster. — Russell Brand Copy Share Image
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? — Peter Kay Copy Share Image
From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster! — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Television is just another appliance- It's just a toaster with pictures. — Mark S. Fowler Copy Share Image
Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then… — Hal Sparks Copy Share Image
Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are… — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of… — Ann Coulter Copy Share Image
I have avoided becoming stale by putting a little water on the plate, lying on the plate, and having myself refreshed in… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
Many people continue to think of sharks as man-eating beasts. Sharks are enormously powerful and wild creatures, but youre more likely to… — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
What I think is all I have left. My mind is the only thing that makes me different from a fancy toaster.… — Mary E. Pearson Copy Share Image
Ian sighed wanly. "I once had the means to be gaga over art–before I found myself in a country where the standard… — Gordon Korman Copy Share Image
Cars, toys, aspirin, meat, toasters, water - nearly every product sold has passed basic safety regulations well in advance of being marketed… — Elizabeth Warren Copy Share Image
Appearances are not reality; but they often can be a convincing alternative to it. You can control appearances most of the time,… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have no statistics to prove it, but I'm sure the American workplace will be adversely affected on Monday, the day after… — Robert Klein Copy Share Image
My area of research is something that in all fairness has no practical usability whatsoever and the thing is I'm often asked… — Lawrence M. Krauss Copy Share Image
My opening line to my students, and a recurring theme in my classes, was that the big design problem isn't designing a… — Richard Saul Wurman Copy Share Image
The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I think anything can be forced to converge. The problem is that products are about tradeoffs, and you begin to make tradeoffs… — Tim Cook Copy Share Image
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Do you have a lot of other profound thoughts like that? Blood is blood? A toaster is a toaster? A Gelatinous Cube… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when made the tin of beans explode." "It… — Sarah Rees Brennan Copy Share Image
If Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana were "candles in the wind," and Anna Nicole Smith was a bonfire in a hailstorm, and… — Cintra Wilson Copy Share Image
