I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People like the Mormons and the Scientologists, who I think should combine and make a Mormontologist because what they believe is just… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
[George W. Bush] has balls. And he's a leader. Unfortunately his balls and leadership are in the service of shitty ideas. We… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nobody in America who wants pot has any trouble getting it, so maybe that's why we aren't seeing support for legalization. People… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about...Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings, who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'll clue you in on a secret: death is not the worst thing that could happen to you. I know we think… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't you think that being a person of faith has become a third rail in American politics? If you want to run… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good...… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
And what is the Republican solution to these outrageous [racial] inequalities? There isn't one. And that's the point. Denying racism is the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I do stand-up around the country, I often see people walk out. This is a show that they've purposely gone to,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think we need to change that old saying, "I don't need a building to fall on me." Because two did and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney we think is going run again. He says he has no plans to run, but he said if he did… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
![“[George W. Bush] has balls. And he's a leader. Unfortunately his balls and leadership are in the service of shitty ideas. We need his balls on someone who thinks right.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7cb/bill-maher-211_balls_george-w-bush-has-balls-and-he-s-a-leade_3212482.png)
![“And what is the Republican solution to these outrageous [racial] inequalities? There isn't one. And that's the point. Denying racism is the new racism. To not acknowledge those statistics, to think of that as a 'black problem' and not an American problem. To believe, as a majority of FOX viewers…” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2eb/bill-maher-211_acknowledge_and-what-is-the-republican-solution-to-t_3115435.png)
![“When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different. When they [Conservative right wing Republicans] talk about values, they're talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being…” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/307/bill-maher-211_church_when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rat_1042837.png)
