My body is not supportive of my career. My body has other plans for me. My body's plan is to slowly rot from the inside. By the time I'm ready to have kids, it's not going to be viable to… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete. — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it's objectifying. But when a woman writes it,… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I think that we're in a really amazing time, where there are really a lot of really fantastic female actresses and comedians. I imagine… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
The indie movie world is like a bad Tinder date, and there are always strings attached. — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I wasn't one of those kids who stole Richard Pryor records. I wasn't a comedy-nerd kid. I had no concept of stand-up. Actually, the… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
Good evening, America. I'm a woman, and welcome to The Late Late Show. — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
The most dangerous place I've ever performed standup is in my home state of California. — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I don't want to look at myself - ever. All I see is that my face is a problem. It's asymmetrical. I get terrible… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like,… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing,… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I have so much to be thankful for. I work with the most amazing people, get to make people laugh for a living and… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I am excited to show people how, when you get older, you get deeper, you get more raw, you get more honest, and you… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
I have a theory, which is that the idea of a roast is to go to this forbidden, uncomfortable, almost performance-art-level shock place, but… — Whitney Cummings Copy Share Image
