I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse. — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be. So what I would say… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it,… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
“Just give me a second to get my wind back. Who the hell put that pole there?” — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit. — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
The only concept or experience or core belief that I can attribute my other-ness to is that I just started out a weirdo and… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
And I was the only black kid in my school for almost all of my childhood, until I was a teenager. So imagine, if… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
When I was young I thought, 'Yeah, people don't see, they're not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am'. And the… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
