When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man. — Sam Kinison Copy Share Image
“I found a gray hair on one of my testicles today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening.” — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Improv seemed to replace stand-up, which was very big before that. Stand-up comedy was real hot in the late '80s and through… — Joe Flaherty Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy in the end, unlike the rest of the entertainment industry, is a meritocracy. There's a certain level of undeniability you… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes. — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I have a lot of grandmothers come to my shows, and they love me. I don't think there's much being made that… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
I don't do stand-up anymore. There are no rules in stand-up comedy. Journalists follow plenty of rules. — Jason Whitlock Copy Share Image
Georgia was a great place to live, but I wanted to get out because I knew the opportunities for what I was… — Chris Tucker Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I started to do a study on how not to do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's lonely work. You die, you die alone.… — Jim Varney Copy Share Image
But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no… — Evan Davis Copy Share Image
Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. Every night I had a live audience of 25,000 people to win over. My goal… — Dwayne Johnson Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy had an interesting effect on me in terms of how I started to think about constructing things, because I really… — Mark Leyner Copy Share Image
Regardless of what I do, whether I write a book or whether I act or whether I host, I'll always do stand-up… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
I am very proud of what 'Johnny' achieved in stand-up comedy because he believed entirely in giving an audience the best kick… — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I made a career goals list for 2017 and it's so funny. I have low self-esteem or something, so I put both… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about podcasting is it's just talking. It can be funny, or it can be terrifying. It can be sweet.… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I was doing stand up comedy when I was 11, that's how I got started; not because I wanted to do comedy,… — Shia LaBeouf Copy Share Image
In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
My road to success was a long road to success was a long road. You get out of something what you put… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
“This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.” — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together… — Gary Gulman Copy Share Image
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When I came to America, it was Dave Chappelle and a lot of comedians on ComicView. That was my first exposure to… — Jimmy O. Yang Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“Asking someone else to drive your sports car is like asking someone else to kiss your girlfriend.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I've a belt that I have worn for every single stand-up comedy session since I was 19. I fear if I ever… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
I feel blessed to be able to do my stand up comedy all over the world, because some people never even leave… — Charlie Murphy Copy Share Image
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I… — Tim Allen Copy Share Image
I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
![“The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need to be known anymore than I am. The slight sliver of fame I do have is hard to deal with. If I was actually well-known - I don't even know what to say to people…” quote by Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34c/doug-stanhope-1528_acting_the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it_124805.png)
