The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Looking back, my life seems like one long obstacle race, with me as the chief obstacle. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents,… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
One gets the impression that this is how Ernest Hemingway would have written had he gone to Vassar. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
