I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and a delusion.… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I changed it to Leslie Hill, only that seemed more like a cocktail pianist. Eventually, being an admirer of Jack Benny, I took his… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I don't covet images or belongings. My television set and video are rented, any paintings aren't worth a fortune, and money is of little… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ? — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I'm single. I don't have a family. I certainly don't have to work. I don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million… — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
I don't do something I won't enjoy just for the money. I do it for the fun, for the joy of working. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
