Women and Washing Machines are similar in a way, you have to use your hands in their absence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If they're taking your love for a joke, then leave them like it's funny. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think the woman who invented the phrase 'All Men Are The Same' was a chinese woman who lost her husband in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The thought of a comedy with paid prostitutes always seemed so silly and purposeless, for a person hired by me could never… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up so many people that they have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Dormouse looked out, and he said with a sigh: "I suppose all these people know better than I. It was silly,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you notice someones zipper is down but you don't want to say anything because you don't have a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money. I want to fish as deep down as possible… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People shouldn't be embarrassed just because they get caught acting a little silly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lent a blind man some money ane he said he will give it to me the next time he sees me.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just want someone who I can act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was little sticking my tongue out was like giving some one the middle finger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They know how crazy you are, and still choose to be seen with you in public. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Live a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength. Sprinkled with a little silliness. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing is scarier than attmepting the first fart after having diarrhea. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever said nothing is impossible...Never tried to staple water to a tree. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Money can't buy happiness, but it's a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish fire trucks and ambulances played, 'Move bitch! Get out the way!' instead of using sirens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
