I don't want to be classed as a humorist. It makes me feel guilty. I've never read a good tough quotable female humorist, and I never was one myself. I couldn't do it. A "smartcracker" they called me, and that… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.” — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Sometimes I think Ill give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image