For me, the constitutive element of an affair is the secrecy. It is the secrecy that leads to the lying, to the… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Secrecy fuels erotic intensity because it makes you feel like you're doing something that is entirely yours. It gives you the sense… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
People grow up learning to be silent about their sexuality, so where are they going to learn to talk about it when… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
The meaning of secrecy is very different when the model of love is one of transparency. So to understand the politics of… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“For [erotically intelligent couples], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life:… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy. — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of your sense… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex—purged of any expressions of power, aggression, and transgression—is antithetical to erotic desire for… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
