Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it. — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, 'Where were you between four and six?' I said, 'Kindergarten' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Who the hell calls at two in the morning?" "Maybe it's Matt Wilde, confessing his love," Lindsay says. "Very funny,” — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
Whats the point of having U as a FRIEND in FACEBOOK.. when in real life I really wanna SLAP ur FACE with… — Joanne Lobedica Copy Share Image
And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you. — Homer Copy Share Image
I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“You’ll pardon me,” he finally said, “if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
“You're playing hookey for her? You met her, what, five minutes ago? And now she's what? Your girlfriend? Did you give her… — Ally Blake Copy Share Image
“Janice rolled her eyes. First, the doctor had ogled her, and now Karr was leering at her and licking his lips lasciviously.… — William L. Lavell Copy Share Image
I'm getting to enjoy the mentality of the British, the sarcasm, the dry humour. There are so many more ways of articulating… — Toto Wolff Copy Share Image
“I know what sarcasm is.” Then she smiled deviously. “I know what sarcasm is!” Stormfather, Kaladin thought, looking into those gleeful little… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself. Check yourself against this list of… — Harold Geneen Copy Share Image
You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“The idea filled her with a nameless horror. Lost in thought, it took her several moments to realize that Jace had been… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
“Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!' 'He's… — Natalie Standiford Copy Share Image
“How do you know? You said lithium didn’t work for some people. It’s not working for me!’ ‘Till the end of the… — Tabitha Suzuma Copy Share Image
“The phone wavered in Richard's hand. He was holding it about half an inch away from his ear anyway because it seemed… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
