Being sarcastic to dumb people because they can't tell if your being honest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Saturday Nights* Me: Online, eating, watching tv. Everyone else: Partying, getting high & drunk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She: Can I have breakfast in bed? Me: If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. — Wandini Copy Share Image
You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny. — Cecelia Ahern Copy Share Image
Being nice to people you don't like isn't called being two-faced ; it's called Growing up . You should try it sometime.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'd love to start some movements. What I'm tired of is irony, and sarcasm, and music/movies/what have you, not having the guts… — Don Hertzfeldt Copy Share Image
“As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to death Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster” — Shawn Durnin Copy Share Image
“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now?… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Dear Producers, Something is radiating deep within me and it must be transmitted or I will implode and the world will suffer… — Dave Eggers Copy Share Image
I am suggesting that as we go through life, we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper… — Gordon B. Hinckley Copy Share Image
Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter? Yes, said Harry stiffly. Yes, sir. There's no need to… — JK Rowling Copy Share Image
And then what? Said, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Lane, I didn't mean to wrinkle your lovely blouse. May I press that… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for… — Dave Gorman Copy Share Image
You aren't worried are you?" "Why should I be worried? It's just another day in the neighborhood. You know - bombs, fires,… — Christine Feehan Copy Share Image
“His chief form of entertainment was reading. The last moments he was in a cabin were usually spent scanning bookshelves and nightstands.… — Michael Finkel Copy Share Image
“She tapped out a beat on the edge of the piano as I tripped and plummeted through the refrain of “Spacebar,” trying… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
