“It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.” — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here?” — Tim Burton Copy Share Image
“You make me ride a horse, you get unbridled puns.” “That’s clever, I approve.” “Thank you.” Ty said” — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North Copy Share Image
“I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“ Do You Come Here Often?' and 'Be Part of the Action' Have Become Clichéd "Coast Guard Sees Increasing Need for Icebreakers"—headline,… — James Taranto Copy Share Image
“the new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or,… — Salman Rushdie Copy Share Image
“It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so… — Django Wylie Copy Share Image
I love puns. I've been known to turn the car around just to take advantage of a good pun situation. It really… — Karin Slaughter Copy Share Image
I say 'as it were' or 'so to speak' too often because puns and double entendres keep insinuating themselves into my consciousness… — Guy Gavriel Kay Copy Share Image
“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you.… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
“One of Lucy's admirers took to her, apparently." "Took to her?" echoes William, his own feelings for Sugar causing him to construe… — Michel Faber Copy Share Image
“The expression terminal, when the doctor first pronounced it, had struck Meershank with a comic bounce, this after a lifetime of pursuing… — Carol Shields Copy Share Image
“Never a dull moment,” he muttered. They’d been flash and bang from the first moment they’d met. “Yeah, well, if you weren’t… — Abigail Roux & Madeleine Urban Copy Share Image
“Presently Jack Pumpkinhead became uneasy. "I wonder if riding through the air is liable to spoil pumpkins," he said. "Not unless you… — L. Frank Baum Copy Share Image
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. — Allan Sloan Copy Share Image
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like really bad puns - proper, red-top, nasty puns - I find them funny. — Johnny Flynn Copy Share Image
“If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.” — Peter Wisan Copy Share Image
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. — John Oliver Copy Share Image
“I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing.” — Brian Spellman Copy Share Image
“Ma didn't think puns were funny but couldn't help laughing at the naughty look Pa gave her when he made one.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder Copy Share Image
“Khione’s eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs—literally. Halfway up,… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
