You do something you're really quite proud of, and the public doesn't like it. Then you do something that perhaps you're not at all happy with and the public loves it. And that's the moment of truth, because it's the… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,'… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
