“Derrick, Samantha, and Michael were all very good at avoiding being murdered. Nanny Piggins considered this to be one of the most important life skills.” — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“You can tell which ones are the artists,' Nanny Piggins said loudly, for she could be instructive when she chose to be. 'They are… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Samantha, what have I told you?' demanded Mr. Green. 'That I should be seen, and not heard, until I turn eighteen. When I can… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“She crept around the house listening for breathing, chocolate eating, breaking porcelain, or any of the other peculiar little noises children make.” — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Do they ever ask pirates to come and speak to you at your school's career day?' 'No,' admitted Derek. 'They usually just have accountants… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Yes, I know, because schools are cruel, illogical, and unfair. But the thing is, life is cruel, illogical, and unfair. That is why the… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Derrick, Samantha, and Michael were all very good at avoiding being murdered. Nanny Piggins considered this to be one of the most important life… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Experience has taught me that it is always better to be well rested than to know what you are doing - Nanny Piggins” — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
“Nanny Piggins lost the Vegetable Peeling, Gutter Cleaning, and Long Division Explaining tests as well. She got caught telling Michael, 'Don't bother to learn… — R. A. Spratt Copy Share Image
