“If you try to make a shrimp boil, but the bag of spices bursts, and so you just toss it in along with whatever spices you can find in the pantry--you can make homemade pepper spray. Unintentionally. And everyone at… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Also, if you try to make a shrimp boil but the bag of spices bursts and so you just toss it all in along with whatever spices you can find in the pantry, you can make homemade pepper spray.” — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
the most terribly human moments - the ones we want to pretend never happened - are the very moments that make us who we… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“I MADE MY CATS A WATER BED OUT OF A ZIPLOC BAG AND A SHOEBOX. THEY POPPED IT WITH THEIR CLAWS AND THEY ALMOST… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Everything in this book is mostly true but some details have been changed to protect the guilty. I know it’s usually about “protecting the… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
Have you ever been homesick for someplace that doesn't actually exist anymore? Someplace that exists only in your mind? — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“As far as I'm concerned, a house should look lived-in, and I consider it clean as long as I don't stick to it and… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Something wonderful about experiencing life with friendly strangers and stranger-friends who all fit in your pocket.” — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“And while our families made their way to the church doorsteps to prepare to throw birdseed at us, we hid in the empty church… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“There's a very mean girl down the hall who's trying to get me fired. I'm no good with confrontation, so whenever I say, "Have… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Then a man onstage quoted Sam Houston, saying, “Texas can make it without the United States, BUT THE UNITED STATES CANNOT MAKE IT WITHOUT… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
Some people we define as trolls are just critics. Sometimes they have a point. And I hear them. But for the ones who comment… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“By my tenth glass of wine I started to wonder whether there was something wrong with my palate. Everyone else was marking the wine… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
It's interesting with my blog, because it feels to me less like a blog and more like a forum, because my readers are so… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“Hey, Grandlibby?” I asked. “What’s a ‘turn-on’?” She paled visibly, looking mildly ill. “Well,” she said…struggling for words, “it’s…um…the things that make you happy,… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“It would be hard to believe that a man had invented walls when most of them couldn’t even be bothered to close the bathroom… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there." And sometimes,… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
