“My penis’ name is Pride. Pride is something every woman should be filled with.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I named my penis Attention, because we all know how much women love fucking attention. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life is like a penis!! It always gets hard when there's a girl involved! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She already has my heart. I would like for her to take my penis, too. Is that so much to ask?” — Shayla Black Copy Share Image
Being in the friend zone is like being a teddy bear. NOTICE that there is no penis on a teddy bear. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Please, allow me a moment to put my penis back where it belongs. I should never have taken it out of its… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Now, the penis is round, and the anus is round, while the vagina’s opening is long and narrow; clearly then Nature designed… — Ada Palmer Copy Share Image
If you're a dude wearing a scarf, I'm just going to assume you're keeping your neck muscles warm to suck many dicks. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“If someone asks you to touch his dick over the cloths and he will pay in return, you won’t, but when you… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
“On the card I wrote, “Thinking of you,” and the picture was of my erect penis. I hope my local congressman got… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and… — R.J. Silver Copy Share Image
“Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I’m betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth… — Christine Zolendz Copy Share Image
“Do you have to kill people every time you take a piss?” Eve locked the men’s room door behind her. God, he… — Debra Anastasia Copy Share Image
“The end of my penis is still a bit sore and stings a little when I take a leak. The tip’s red.… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
“...I got the word. It's get out of town, and it wasn't even from Mel Torme. "If Natalie were here, she'd say… — Joyce Haber Copy Share Image
“Something girls never understood about poker night. The real point of the card play was to razz. Razzing calls forth unbridled farm-boy… — Allan Dare Pearce Copy Share Image
“Did you hear about the lawsuit? Mary asked. "No, what?" "I hear that he is so big," she lifted her eyebrows to… — Heather Lynn Rigaud Copy Share Image
“Alas, the penis is such a ridiculous petitioner. It is so unreliable, though everything depends on it—the world is balanced on it… — William Gass Copy Share Image
“If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The blue face! The obscene protrusion of the tongue! The tumefaction of the penis! The penis, well now, that's a surprise, I'd… — Samuel Beckett Copy Share Image
