A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers? — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.' — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
I'm a big game show fan. When you're a poor person, you watch game shows. I don't think people realize that. Maybe everybody watches… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life,… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
Real people are good and grumpy. They're nice and mean. And I come from a nice and mean family. My mom was nice, and… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
My mom was a garage sale person, save money. Come on in to the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She'd get in… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
We tried to make it more than just a cartoon. It was a cartoon, but we tried to make it more than it was… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
Everyone always comes to one point in their life as an artist where you can either let your heart guide you or your ego. — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it... 'Hey ain't you going to help us… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
