Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“Smoking comforts ordinary men, but I'm not an ordinary man. There aren't many like me left. And it's a good thing for the world… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“Money is the root of all goodness. To talk disparagingly about money is the privilege of those who have money. There are also those… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“By the end of a short walk, the septic tip of a cane probably collects enough germs to destroy a small city.” — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
Outside of taking care of a man’s needs, women don’t get much pleasure out of life, anyways. — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
I can't see any point to hanging around a Burger King all day, no matter how much money you make. … I'll tell you… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“Anymore cutting and the movie would be as silly as cutting a condensed Reader's Digest novel.” — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
I'm not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That's just like adding… — Charles Willeford Copy Share Image
“It is a funny thing. A man can make a promise to his God, break it five minutes later and never think about it. With an idle shrug of his shoulders, a man can break solemn promises to his mother, wife or sweetheart, and, except for a slight momentary twinge of conscience, he still won't be bothered very much. But… — Charles Willeford Copy Share
