The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come… — Carrot Top Copy Share
I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
