How terrible to be alcoholic. You just want to quietly soothe and maybe poison yourself, but you end up poisoning those around you as well, like trying to commit suicide with a gas oven and unwittingly murdering your neighbors. — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
“I do think everyone would be a lot happier if we laid eggs on our own and could just have friendship and didn't need… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
“Try to think about more important things,' he said. 'Think about your soul, your character. Think about the freezer. It's a solid block of… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
I don't know that I've gotten much feedback directly from the literary world; sometimes I doubt even the notion that there is a literary… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
People don't expect too much from literature. They just want to know they're not alone with being confused. — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back of the… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
I wish we had a dog in the show so that I could get to be a dog for a day. — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly. — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
“I know I experience great consolation when my mouth is between a woman’s legs. I think it must be because I’m drinking in her… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of Asperger's meets… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
