“I listed my triggers (carrot cake, deadlines, weight gain, mice, insomnia), studied relapse prevention, and learned dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) skills, which I liked because you could apply them to life, not just recovery. My favorite was “Teflon mind,” where… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“it. No more. I kept scribbling down “rules” as they came to me: NO HARD DRUGS. Ooh, wasn’t it fun counting these pills and organizing them in their cubes and opening and closing the plastic doors? They were like little pink pill-people living in storage units. La la la. No, drugs were not going to rule my fucking life anymore.… — Cat Marnell Copy Share
“It was great not having a roommate. I didn’t have to turn the lights off and go to bed, like, ever. I took my new medicine and stayed up doing homework late in the night, hyperfocused and erasing and reprinting my math homework. Branches would bang on the glass and scare the shit out of me; there was also a… — Cat Marnell Copy Share
“I WAS LIKE . . . LIKE A GROUPIE FOR ALL OF THESE DOWNTOWN GUYS . . . I WAS—I AM—BULIMIC AND OBSESSED WITH MY LOOKS . . . I THOUGHT THAT MY… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I peed and washed my hands—these are the details you need to know—and” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“And so I shut down. Winter raged on, but I stopped thinking about my pregnancy. I pretended it all wasn’t happening.” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I will repeat the only advice which has ever really resonated with me re: pain—emotional as well as physical—which is: It’s not always going… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“NOW THAT I WAS OUT of that bizarre . . . sobriety fog, I could see everything much more clearly!” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“My parents were quiet in the car to the airport, but I couldn’t escape the voices in my head. You failure. You disaster. You… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“We would’ve been kicked out if we got caught—and you know me. I just live for getting kicked out of things.” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I would have swallowed arsenic if someone had promised that it would put me under for at least a few hours—that’s how bad prolonged… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
