It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
I would love to see what's going to happen with science fiction with peoples' heads, because we still have people running around in the… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
I had always functioned with dignity, wanting to appear intelligent, macho, never vulnerable or insecure. But now I realize that... a part of these… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
