I masturbate to a microwave timer just for the excitement of a buzzer beater. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Choosing not to masturbate is like owning a playground but never playing on it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Youre probably doing something wrong if you have to give a press conference every time you masturbate. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Never masturbate to a fantasy involving anyone you might actually have to interact with. Trust me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't sit in a public transport and masturbate then we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Always masturbate, because there's homeless kids in Africa with no arms who can't. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever you're feeling sad masturbate, because every sad story deserves a happy ending. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
