I love New York, though I'll never eat any of the ice creams that they sell in the park. That's just disgusting. You see the little picture of them? They all have a little bite taken out of them already. — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I quit because I'm so tired of hearing bad news about cigarettes... Even if they discover good news, they don't publicize it - like… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I'm not even worried about settling down. I think it's way too early. I'm 25 and I'm in show business. I mean, if things… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
My general rule of thumb is, once something's a ride at Disneyland, I assume that it is no longer a threat in real life.… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing… — Arj Barker Copy Share
There's no razor in candy. If for no other reason, it doesn't make financial sense. It's not fiscally prudent. How much does a piece of candy cost - like, a penny and a half? An apple's like 15 cents? Anybody here bought a Mach 3 replacement cartridge recently? They're so expensive, they don't even keep them on the shelf. You… — Arj Barker Copy Share
I fainted last night! Luckily I was going to bed at the time so I didn't get hurt. — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I'm trying to feel terrified and alone. And regret every decision I've ever made, drenched in a cold sweat. It's called going to sleep.… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out,… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
