I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like, "Trust me, you don't want… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be. So what I would say… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it,… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
“Just give me a second to get my wind back. Who the hell put that pole there?” — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I'm the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit. — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
The only concept or experience or core belief that I can attribute my other-ness to is that I just started out a weirdo and… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
And I was the only black kid in my school for almost all of my childhood, until I was a teenager. So imagine, if… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share
When I was young I thought, 'Yeah, people don't see, they're not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am'. And the… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
