The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be… — Marya Hornbacher Absurd Copy Share Image
“perhaps our purpose is, for the time being, to be human, to live on this earth and in this human community, to… — Marya Hornbacher Nature Copy Share Image
The anoretic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions. — Marya Hornbacher Anorexia Copy Share Image
“I began to feel like I was wearing a sign on my forehead that said FUCKED UP in big neon letters.” — Marya Hornbacher Copy Share Image
Me and my needs were driving my mother away. Me and my needs retreated to my closet, disappeared into fairy tales. I… — Marya Hornbacher Closets Copy Share Image
You can't teach an ear, you can't teach talent, but you can teach people who have those things not to just fly… — Marya Hornbacher Ears Copy Share Image
“I was used to sleeping with people because I endlessly found myself in identical situations where it was easier to just fuck… — Marya Hornbacher Easier Copy Share Image
“No matter how thin you get, no matter how short you cut your hair, it's still going to be you underneath.” — Marya Hornbacher Anorexia Copy Share Image
“Being here, living now, recognizing our smallness, is a spiritual practice. It allows us to be at peace with our humanity. It… — Marya Hornbacher Life Copy Share Image
Recovery isn’t easy, at first. It takes time. It takes more work, sometimes, than you think you’re willing to do. But it… — Marya Hornbacher Disorder Copy Share Image
My students know I have a life, they know I've written about my life. They know some detail, probably more than they… — Marya Hornbacher Details Copy Share Image
“Every morning I watched the sun rise and read a highly religious little meditation book and tried having a conversation with God.… — Marya Hornbacher Books Copy Share Image
My bones are brittle, my heart weak and erratic, my esophagus and stomach riddled with ulcers, my reproductive system shot, my immune… — Marya Hornbacher Bones Copy Share Image
Because I'm not, in fact, depressed, Prozac makes me manic and numb - one of the reasons I slice my arm in… — Marya Hornbacher Arms Copy Share Image
One really ought to be afraid of self-torture. But it tempted me. It begged. The dark place that my mind was fast… — Marya Hornbacher Becoming Copy Share Image
We think of bulimia and anorexia as either a bizarre psychosis, or as a quirky little habit, a phase, or as a… — Marya Hornbacher Anorexia Copy Share Image
Crazy isn´t always what they say it is. It´s not always the old woman wearing sneakers and a skirt and a scarf,… — Marya Hornbacher Arms Copy Share Image
“Something had been confirmed: I was worth giving a shit about; I was getting to be a successful sick person. Sick is… — Marya Hornbacher Death Copy Share Image
I was perpetually grief-stricken when I finished a book, and would slide down from my sitting position on the bed, put my… — Marya Hornbacher Bed Copy Share Image
“So rather than running from doubt, shutting down our spirits and hearts, or reaching for quick certainty, we can use doubt as… — Marya Hornbacher Doubt Copy Share Image
This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat. And yet of… — Marya Hornbacher Aftermath Copy Share Image
Madness is not what it seems. Time stops. All my life I've been obsessed with time, its motion and velocity, the way… — Marya Hornbacher Brooks Copy Share Image
“You know those afternoons," he asks, drawing a shaking breath, "where you’re just going along, doing fine, and then afternoon comes and… — Marya Hornbacher Depression Copy Share Image
If I had been a different sort of person, maybe less impressionable, less intense, less fearful, less utterly dependent upon the perceptions… — Marya Hornbacher Chaos Copy Share Image
“At a certain point, an eating disorder ceases to be "about" any one thing. It stops being about your family, or your… — Marya Hornbacher Consuming Copy Share Image
“• At 1 A.M. I'd pull on my coat, my boots. Walk down the stairway, out the door, down the long driveway… — Marya Hornbacher Beauty salon Copy Share Image
All of us have theories about the world and about ourselves. We will go to great lengths to prove ourselves right because… — Marya Hornbacher Length Copy Share Image
I grew into it. It grew into me. It and I blurred at the edges, became one amorphous, seeping, crawling thing. — Marya Hornbacher Crawling Copy Share Image
Having a normal person around me made it poingnantly clear to me that I was out of control. — Marya Hornbacher Clear Copy Share Image
We were at another funeral party. I wasn’t sure who had died this time, but it was a suicide, and upsetting because… — Marya Hornbacher Funeral Copy Share Image
I have never been normal about my body. It has always seemed to me a strange and foreign entity. I don't know… — Marya Hornbacher Body Copy Share Image
It's really interesting to me how all of us can experience the exact same event, and yet come away with wildly disparate… — Marya Hornbacher Different Copy Share Image
I know how this feels: the tightening of the chest, the panic, the what-have-I-done-wait-I-was-kidding. Eating disorders linger so long undetected, eroding the… — Marya Hornbacher Anxiety Copy Share Image
“And when, after fifteen years of bingeing, barfing, starving, needles and tubes and terror and rage, and medical crises and personal failure… — Marya Hornbacher Die young Copy Share Image
