I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.' — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Me in drag is kind of scary, actually. It's frightening. I actually look pretty good. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I've always believed that it's important to give something back to the world and community. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny. — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
