You can be brilliant in some ways and despicable in others. You can be a clean, upright, moral individual in your private… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
The worst thing that happens to you at college if you fail to get out of bed in time is that you… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Life has its trade-offs. As you age, you lose things like teeth and the ability to play in the ball pit at… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
In high school, you at least have to get up at a reasonable hour and show up at places on time. College,… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Harvard pulsates with life and thought of all kinds, and religion should not be left out of its ongoing discussions. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Snow is like a manic pixie dream girl: fun and whimsical when you encounter it only through the barrier of a movie… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
All the weird inconveniences of adult life that you thought they made up to lend excitement and color to episodes of 'Sex… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
You do not get gold stars for cleaning your toilet. In actual life, there is a depressing lack of stickers. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
No matter how successful you are, no matter how good you are at what you do, even if a golden path rolls… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
At college, everyone's milestones occurred in shared clumps. Everyone studied, caroused, won, lost - simultaneously. Life is not like that. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Standup comedy was my weird hobby. I would drag my poor parents out to the only open mics that were in coffee shops instead… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
You can be brilliant in some ways and despicable in others. You can be a clean, upright, moral individual in your private life who… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you, other people… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote for 'On… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Dull words are what make many bright sentences shine. They do not call attention to themselves. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Bills ought to be passed with deliberation by committees. Change should be achieved in a bipartisan manner. Incrementally, day by day, we should reach… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Although no one explicitly wants a president who could have a reliable fall back career in stand-up comedy, everyone shudders at the thought of… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid chopping down more cherry trees than he could… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
At Harvard, people like to impart the idea that you are a mover and shaker. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.' — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
