Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
People talk to pass the time, share information, and entertain each other. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
At Harvard, people like to impart the idea that you are a mover and shaker. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
As long as cantankerous old people have existed, they have complained that kids nowadays don't seem to know anything. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Serious beliefs are awkward, especially religious ones. It's not that there's anything wrong with them, it's just that people's real, heart-felt, deeply… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you,… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
People feel compelled to continue reading and hearing the news. Sometimes, you just want somebody to be yelling at it with you… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Everyone praises Harvard 'for the students.' But what makes Harvard's students so great is that they are, in many ways, a cross-section… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
As long as I'm writing stuff and people are reading it, I'll be happy. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
How many stories do you know about people cooped up in places because of deep snowfall? How many stories where something good… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Standup comedy was my weird hobby. I would drag my poor parents out to the only open mics that were in coffee shops instead… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
You can be brilliant in some ways and despicable in others. You can be a clean, upright, moral individual in your private life who… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Success is like food caught in your teeth: much more noticeable when it happens to other people. If it happens to you, other people… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote for 'On… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Dull words are what make many bright sentences shine. They do not call attention to themselves. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Bills ought to be passed with deliberation by committees. Change should be achieved in a bipartisan manner. Incrementally, day by day, we should reach… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
Although no one explicitly wants a president who could have a reliable fall back career in stand-up comedy, everyone shudders at the thought of… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid chopping down more cherry trees than he could… — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
At Harvard, people like to impart the idea that you are a mover and shaker. — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
It's easier to find the joke in something when you think, 'This - this is ridiculous.' — Alexandra Petri Copy Share Image
