I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie? — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
“Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
I don't want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
