“Real life doesn’t come beautifully wrapped with a bow on top. Most events usually look more like a three-year-old’s attempt to wrap Mommy’s gift. Crinkled and torn paper, too much tape, and covered in glitter and stickers. But it isn’t… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share
“can’t digest food unless it has some E. coli in it for flavor. All this nutrition nonsense is horseshit.” — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“Anything can be a curse if it ain't a choice. If it's all you know. If you do it because your father did it.… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“i ain't got the energy to argue. i'm an old man and i got to take a shit.” — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“Real life doesn’t come beautifully wrapped with a bow on top. Most events usually look more like a three-year-old’s attempt to wrap Mommy’s gift. Crinkled and torn paper, too much tape, and covered in glitter and stickers. But it isn’t for the lack of effort or the love put into the thing. Some people just can’t wrap for shit. No… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share
“Even a desert hare will take a finger off the dumbass that tries to pet it. If the desert can make a bunny that… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“Back at the Date Palm, Bobby and I drank like we had received federal funding to study the impact of beer and Tennessee whiskey… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“They wore the uniform of the desert bro. Think frat boy who never went to college. Jersey Shore without the water. Farmer’s tans made by the sun instead of a cancer machine. Ed Hardy shirts and backward baseball caps. Oakley sunglasses, even at night. Goatees or shaped three-day growth. Essentially they all looked like middle relief pitchers on vacation. The… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share
“Sometimes you don’t win the war. You don’t even win any of the battles. All you have left to celebrate is the victory of… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“In the city people bitched when you asked them to help you move. Out here a neighbor would help you shovel shit for eight… — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
“Should've known when I met her mama. The big, fat acorn didn't fall too far from the big, fat tree.” — Johnny Shaw Copy Share Image
