If your dick was as big as your mouth I might would have been impressed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works. — Nipsey Russell Copy Share Image
The jokes that take my last name and equate them to a sex act ... is a really cruel thing to do. — Monica Lewinsky Copy Share Image
“Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that. — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter is a much more dangerous cauldron of group-think than happy hours or dinners. On Twitter, the reward comes from agreeing or… — David Weigel Copy Share Image
A rumor that followed me forever was that my family was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it.… — Giuliana Rancic Copy Share Image
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about. — Caroline Rhea Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being mature is when you finally grow enough, to be able to joke about the things that once broke you as a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What’s the deal with the hair?” Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. “Grows every flare. Can’t help it." We… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke… — Norman Schwarzkopf Copy Share Image
I heard my name." Ash's voice startles me. "You tow better not be making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama's… — Abbi Glines Copy Share Image
There's a joke in the movie...it's got a fairytale ending, and this is a spoiler: Donald Trump does contract HIV. I think… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
With the Tonys it's a little tricky because a lot of the funnier jokes are more insider, so people watching at home… — Neil Patrick Harris Copy Share Image
I used to see a lot of cocaine. There were journalists who used cocaine and didn't write about it and I didn't… — Cameron Crowe Copy Share Image
Oh, so that's why you're up here. For a pity party." "This isn't a joke. I'm serious." I could tell Lissa was… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I like silly things. I think that "silly-stupid" or "stupid-smart" might be my philosophy, which is to combine a veneer of intelligence… — Michael Showalter Copy Share Image
All of a sudden I got a call the night of the first time we were filming and they're like, "Terry, we… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
A great door opened by God for work, but while I'm doing the work, all Hell breaks loose. Oh! The idea that… — Jim Cymbala Copy Share Image
Anarcho-capitalism, in my opinion, is a doctrinal system which, if ever implemented, would lead to forms of tyranny and oppression that have… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
