My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac. — David Mamet Copy Share Image
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I cook mostly vegetarian vegetable and bean stews. Quinoa salads. I make my mother-in-law's recipe for chicken and barley stew all the… — Gail Simmons Copy Share Image
It's possible to overlook character flaws of in-laws for the simple reason that you feel neither responsible for them nor genetically implicated. — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
The family feuds or the village feuds often had to do with an idea of honor. Perhaps it was a peasant idea;… — V. S. Naipaul Copy Share Image
Mr. Sourpuss Pants God I love her Nicholas " Thomas crowed. When he noticed that neither Nicholas nor Inez looked impressed by… — Lynsay Sands Copy Share Image
“They seemed so united that I loved them as one person." Lee wrote of his son and daughter-in-law on his daughter-in-law's death.” — Robert E. Lee Copy Share Image
My grandmother was a teacher, my sister was a teacher, my daughter was a teacher and is now a superintendent in northern… — Loni Anderson Copy Share Image
We really have no definition of mother in our law books. Mother was believed to have been so basic that no definition… — Marianne O. Battani Copy Share Image
A lot of Democrats ask and a lot of people ask, "Why is it necessary for people in this country, who are… — Chuck Todd Copy Share Image
I remember in 'Law of Desire,' where I played a homosexual, that people were more upset that I kissed a man on… — Antonio Banderas Copy Share Image
Lawyers from the NSA, as well as the UK's GCHQ, work very hard to search for loopholes in laws and constitutional protections… — Edward Snowden Copy Share Image
I didn't want to be the archetypal sponging brother-in-law, so I didn't go into acting when I got to the States. I… — John Mahoney Copy Share Image
I'm always composing and trying to learn more about the business. In today's market, it's more important than ever to be self-sufficient… — Antoniette Costa Copy Share Image
I've always assumed that my parents and my in-laws would live with me when I get older and have children. I just… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
We have a shotgun we inherited from my father-in-law, a paranoid Englishman living in Texas. I have a .22 Marlin rifle, similar… — Bonnie Jo Campbell Copy Share Image
It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment… — Pope Benedict XVI Copy Share Image
I believe that life is valuable, even when it is unwanted, even when it is physically imperfect. I believe our society has… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
In law, what plea so tainted and corrupts, but being seasoned with a gracious voice obscures the show of evil. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
A bride who is bullied by her mother-in-law will herself become a bad mother-in-law. — Sin-Itiro Tomonaga Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog. — Gary Delaney Copy Share Image
The stress of making small talk with in-laws is called being part of a family. — Judith Martin Copy Share Image
Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law. — Jean-Louis Gassee Copy Share Image
I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in. — Melanie Lynskey Copy Share Image
We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes. — Aasif Mandvi Copy Share Image
Pakistan is the sort of place every man should send his mother-in-law, for a month, with all expenses paid. — Ian Botham Copy Share Image
Six hours in sleep, in law's grave study six,Four spend in prayer, the rest on Nature fix. — Edward Coke Copy Share Image
Maybe I shouldn’t mouth off to the elemental I kinda hoped was my future mother-in-law. — Kiersten White Copy Share Image
