Ifs Quotes by Oscar Levant

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

— Oscar Levant

So little time and so little to do.

— Oscar Levant

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

— Oscar Levant

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

— Oscar Levant

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.

— Oscar Levant

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

— Oscar Levant

So little time, so little to do

— Oscar Levant

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

— Oscar Levant

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower

— Oscar Levant

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

— Oscar Levant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

— Oscar Levant

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

— Oscar Levant

I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.

— Oscar Levant

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

— Oscar Levant

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

— Oscar Levant