I'm just a weird mix of immature and intelligent and I like to share my point of view and who I am. — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I know how lazy I am. So if I have to go somewhere else I can't get to easily, I talk myself… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I'm not as much a fan of the venues as I am the comics who inhabit them. I don't care if it's… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
The biggest thing I lost when I left religion was that sense of community and the culture. It was an unexpected kind of free-falling.… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Early on, I had a girlfriend come see me, and she was like, 'Yeah, it was good, but you were funny at a dining… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I don't vote and I don't follow who's trying to rule us. The revolution is coming. Until then, I'll just watch 'Game of Thrones.' — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I worked for the Comedy Store as an employee trying to become a paid regular. I had this dream of achieving a half hour… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Very rarely are you going to see a story about a comic winning a fight. Yeah we're all degenerates in some way and we're… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
