“I awake to hear a shower running and quickly stifle a groan. Oh God, my head hurts! How much did I have… — J.C. McClean Copy Share Image
“Let me say this: being an idiot is no box of chocolates. People laugh, lose patience, treat you shabby. Now they say… — Winston Groom Copy Share Image
“Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on… — Cherry Adair Copy Share Image
“So what about Vengeous? Is he bad news?" "The worst. I don't think he's ever forgotten the time I threw a bundle… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
“An oyster has hardly any more reasoning power than a scientist has; and so it it is reasonably certain that this one… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Next door but one is Quinlan Broddle, a Viceroy with a fear of gardens. So much so that he sold his garden… — St. John Morris Copy Share Image
“You’ve got to admit it’s a bit of a pantomime, though,” said Crawly. “I mean, pointing out the Tree and saying ‘Don’t… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
People can be extraordinarily resilient and show extraordinary grace and humour even in moments of tribulation. I've always found that it's much… — Arundhati Roy Copy Share Image
“Alex decided the stakes were high enough to justify one of his advanced psychological theories. He knew all women liked cats. People… — Karl Drinkwater Copy Share Image
“Yesterday, when you said you told everyone, what did you mean?" "Everyone important, I guess. I mean, I didn't rush out to… — Cary Attwell Copy Share Image
“Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace.… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
“I was proud to be brown in my own way. Well, I was at school; at school I was brown about the… — Nikesh Shukla Copy Share Image
Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it,… — Tom Holt Copy Share Image
The establishment irritates you - pull your beard, flick your face - to make you fight because once they've got you violent… — John Lennon Copy Share Image
“Memorable among the Saxon warriors were Hengist and his wife (? or horse), Horsa. Hengist made himself King in the South. Thus… — W.C. Sellar Copy Share Image
“As for 'too much description,' well, opinions differ. We write the books we want to read. And I want to read books… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“But it was in the life-saving competition that Stanley Judkins's conduct was most blameable and had the most far-reaching effects. The practice,… — M.R. James Copy Share Image
Even with the darkest and most distressing subjects in movies there's always going to be humour not far away, just under the… — Mackenzie Crook Copy Share Image
There are still to be found visionary or designing men, who stand ready to advocate the paradox of perpetual peace between the… — Alexander Hamilton Copy Share Image
“Staying relaxed was helping him cope with the drug induced juddering vision that could be best described as being like a Hitchcockian… — Dylan Perry Copy Share Image
“A huge smile spread across Jen's face."Ahh that was a good one." She turned back to the crowed and yelled again."Rewind. We're… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“If they were going to be like that, then I just wished they hadn't actually been German. It was too easy. Too… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“ARTHUR: Yellow car. DOUGLAS: What? ARTHUR: Nothing. Just – yellow car. MARTIN: Why did you say ‘yellow car’? ARTHUR: There was a… — John Finnemore Copy Share Image
“You see football isn’t just about 90 minutes, it‘s about passion and, yes, if you like, about life. We men will do… — Dougie Brimson Copy Share Image
“I am not sleeping with you." "We could probably manage it, though. Without getting too involved." "No," she said. "But why? I… — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
“Wow,” Sussman said, “you look hot even with the slight disfigurement.” I stopped and turned toward him. “What did you say?” “Um,… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The dressmakers have just arrived from Shylon; they are coming here to display their goods.’ ‘Really, that’s lovely.’ ‘I was wondering if… — A. H. Septimius Copy Share Image
I've often thought about that and the only suitable member to join me on that climb [to Everest] was George Lowe: he… — Edmund Hillary Copy Share Image
“Dear Lord I am tired of forgiving people that offended me. Is there anyway you can fix this people's mind to do… — Patience Johnson Copy Share Image
“Higgledy piggledy, my black hen, She lays eggs for gentlemen. Gentlemen come every day To count what my black hen doth lay.… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Laughter is man's most distinctive emotional expression. Man shares the capacity for love and hate, anger and fear, loyalty and grief, with… — Margaret Mead Copy Share Image
One evening, Mike Myers and Steven Spielberg were discussing 'Goldmember,' and I just happened to joke, 'If you need a Japanese character,… — Nobu Matsuhisa Copy Share Image
“What the fuck is going on Lor? What the hell did you do last night? What did you say to Kacey? Who… — J.C. McClean Copy Share Image
“Let's try and pay more attention to what's around us. Look up. Look down - if only so you don't trip. Ask… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“You were small, but far-famed. We were in Oldtown at your birth, and all the city talked of was the monster that… — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
“[On writing Jeeves and Wooster stories]: You tell yourself that you can take Jeeves stories or leave them alone, that one more… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
“Homework, I Love You Homework, I love you. I think that you’re great. It’s wonderful fun when you keep me up late.… — Kenn Nesbitt Copy Share Image
“He's all right. His hair is cute." Jonas froze, his lobster fork halfway to his mouth. " Oh my God, you're in… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
“The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is… — Hank Moody Copy Share Image