It's like that old expression: "Men plan and god laughs." You sort of see that in the television world, where you have… — Vince Gilligan Copy Share Image
“as I [Eve] was the only cook in all Christendom at the time, the idea of not coming home to dinner never… — John Kendrick Bangs Copy Share Image
“We did sometimes play jokes on each other. It was fun, until about a month ago when he attacked me with nerf… — Jessica Florence Copy Share Image
“6th grade. My dog, Katie, is hit by a car and killed. A mean girl during recess says it committed suicide because… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
“Whether it was the delicious food they filled us with, their humorous antics, or the extreme warmth and acceptance they provided the… — Jacqueline Miconi Copy Share Image
Up to now, America has not been a good milieu for the rise of a mass movement. What starts out here as… — Eric Hoffer Copy Share Image
I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“He was going through a hundred different emotions that must have been plain on his face. His body, however, showed only one… — Ron Jockman Copy Share Image
When I watch a romantic comedy, I feel like they're selling something that doesn't exist. Two beautiful, but extremely unpleasant, people are… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“At the age of six, the criteria for handsome was simply: "Is he not related to me?" and "Have I seen him… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
“Seymour looked around the Tucson McDonald's. There were white people and Mavajos; there were people who preferred their Quarter Pounders with cheese… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
I miss you so much and so does everyone else. We all miss you and wish you a speedy recovery. We especially… — Arcine Arciniegas Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I hate him. When he does the dishes, he shakes off each one before setting it in the drying rack. Water… — Tarryn Fisher Copy Share Image
“Fuck damn ,” said Conté, totally unable to help himself when the sums involved vanished over his mental horizon. “Beg pardon, Doña… — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
You can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're… — Owen Wilson Copy Share Image
Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“He had good children and he raised them fine. All doing well -maybe except Joe...they're talking about sending him to college, but… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“It's perfectly normal that extraordinary things happen to me. I'm an exceptional person. Oh, don't think I'm boasting. I mean to say… — Cocteau Copy Share Image
“I knew it was bad. When my jeans screamed in protest that’s one thing— I can blame the dryer. But when my… — Shauna Richmond Copy Share Image
As a comedian, as an entertainer, there's a lot of downtime. Once you can accept that comedy is a marathon, not a… — Iliza Shlesinger Copy Share Image
“Sing a song of suspense in which the players die. Four and twenty ravens in an Edgar Allan Pie. When the pie… — Jessica McHugh Copy Share Image
“Dekker kicked out, connecting with my left shin, and I dropped him for a second. That was all the time he needed… — Leslie Langtry Copy Share Image
“She made an impatient noise. "By the Angel, you don't know anything about your kid, do you? Do you even really know… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Ironically, the only way to see clearly is to stand at a distance. You might be focused, but that doesn't mean you… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
“You had no right." Oh, yes, he did. He suggested, "Why don't you write that down. Put it in my handwriting. Perhaps… — Judith Ivory Copy Share Image
I don't think that comedy is going to affect or change anything. I remember back in 2004 people were like, "How does… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
“The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods." I hesitated. "Any gift?" Zeus nodded grimly.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
“Are you really going to turn down gifted help? That's your plan? Do without what could make all the difference?" "My plan… — Terry Goodkind Copy Share Image
“I look around, hoping I can postpone the indignity of stuttering like a lunatic in front of the sexiest man alive –… — D.L. Hess Copy Share Image
“...Opal is dead, and I don't see how a healer can change that! It's not something to joke about." Joke?" Then Owen… — Flavia Bujor Copy Share Image
On the other hand, the pleasure caused by laughter, even on the stage, is not an unadulterated enjoyment; it is not a… — Henri Bergson Copy Share Image
“Venerable age had not, for him, arranged that derelict landscape against which it is privileged to sit and pick its nose, break… — William Gaddis Copy Share Image
“An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted… — Tim Dorsey Copy Share Image
“That's right. Carrington didn't want to marry the likes of me. He had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the negotiation… — Sherry Thomas Copy Share Image
“You guys are not leaving me out there. They're going to talk books and sex. And the books are about sex. Who… — Lexi Blake Copy Share Image
“It is well said that the Bible contains very little humor, but it does have much to say about the importance of… — Kenneth W. Osbeck Copy Share Image
I've stopped doing things that aren't clear comedy gigs - to do something that's not "comedy night," it's a difficult thing. People… — Simon Amstell Copy Share Image
I started out with comedy in college, but had my major in Recreation Administration - which meant I wasn't going to get… — Carlos Alazraqui Copy Share Image
'Veerey Ki Wedding' is a comedy of errors in more ways than one. It's one of those basic, perky comedies. We're not… — Kriti Kharbanda Copy Share Image
![“as I [Eve] was the only cook in all Christendom at the time, the idea of not coming home to dinner never occurred to Adam... It is true that at times he criticised my cooking, but in view of certain ancestral limitations from which he suffered, I never had to sit quietly and listen to an…” quote by John Kendrick Bangs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e2/john-kendrick-bangs-25337_coming-home_as-i-eve-was-the-only-cook-in-all-christ_291313.jpg)
