The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“There's only one way of escaping trouble; and that's killing things." Henry Higgins, Act V, Pygmalion” — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The function of comedy is to dispelunconsciousness by turning the searchlight of the keenest moral and intellectual analysisright on to it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak!” — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Unless comedy touches me as well as amuses me, it leaves me with a sense of having wasted my evening. I go… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“PICKERING:Excuse the straight question, Higgins. Are you a man of good character where women are concerned? HIGGINS [moodily]:Have you ever met a… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The popular definition of tragedy is heavy drama in which everyone is killed in the last act, comedy being light drama in… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
A third variety of drama ... begins as tragedy with scraps of fun in it ... and ends in comedy without mirth… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“BROADBENT [stiffly]. Devil is rather a strong expression in that connexion, Mr Keegan. KEEGAN. Not from a man who knows that this… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“HIGGINS [*snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief*] Have some chocolates, Eliza. LIZA [*halting,… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“NORA [looking earnestly and a little doubtfully at him]. Surely if you let one woman cry on you like that you'd never… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Audacious ribald: your laughter will finish in hideous boredom before morning. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
The salvation of the world depends on the men who will not take evil good-humouredly, and whose laughter destroys the fool instead… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
I love little children too but I don't cut off their heads and stick them in vases. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
In the arts of life, man invents nothing; but in the arts of death he outdoes Nature herself, and produces by chemistry and machinery… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
“My religious convictions and scientific views cannot at present be more specifically defined than as those of a believer in creative evolution. I desire… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
What a man believes may be ascertained, not from his creed, but from the assumptions on which he habitually acts. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
You are my inspiration and my folly. You are my light across the sea, my million nameless joys, and my day's wage. You are… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
The schoolmaster is the person who takes the children off the parents' hands for a consideration. That is to say, he establishes a child… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
The camera can represent flesh so superbly that, if I dared, I would never photograph a figure without asking that figure to take its… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
A man who is not a communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still communist at the age… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
But to admire a strong person and to live under that strong person’s thumb are two different things. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
The person who is ignorant enough to believe that his nourishment depends on meat is in a horrible dilemma. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share
![“PICKERING:Excuse the straight question, Higgins. Are you a man of good character where women are concerned? HIGGINS [moodily]:Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?” quote by George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea5/george-bernard-shaw-68_good-character_pickering-excuse-the-straight-question-h_2643358.jpg)
![“BROADBENT [stiffly]. Devil is rather a strong expression in that connexion, Mr Keegan. KEEGAN. Not from a man who knows that this world is hell. But since the word offends you, let me soften it, and compare you simply to an ass. [Larry whitens with anger]. BROADBENT [reddening]. An ass! KEEGAN…” quote by George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc1/george-bernard-shaw-68_becoming-better_broadbent-stiffly-devil-is-rather-a-stro_3048281.jpg)
![“HIGGINS [*snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief*] Have some chocolates, Eliza. LIZA [*halting, tempted*] How do I know what might be in them? I've heard of girls being drugged by the like of you. *Higgins whips out his penknife; cuts a…” quote by George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27a/george-bernard-shaw-68_bernard-shaw_higgins-snatching-a-chocolate-cream-from_2692762.png)
![“NORA [looking earnestly and a little doubtfully at him]. Surely if you let one woman cry on you like that you'd never let another touch you. BROADBENT [conscientiously]. One should not. One OUGHT not, my dear girl. But the honest truth is, if a chap is at all a pleasant sort of chap, his chest…” quote by George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c61/george-bernard-shaw-68_first-love_nora-looking-earnestly-and-a-little-doub_822967.png)
