Funny Quotes by George Bernard Shaw

Remember that I too am mortal.

— George Bernard Shaw

Happiness and Beauty are by-products.

— George Bernard Shaw

Heartbreak is life educating us.

— George Bernard Shaw

Activity is the only road to knowledge.

— George Bernard Shaw

Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?

— George Bernard Shaw

Altogether too many sheep

— George Bernard Shaw

Brains are not everything.

— George Bernard Shaw

All problems are finally scientific problems.

— George Bernard Shaw

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

— George Bernard Shaw

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

— George Bernard Shaw

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

— George Bernard Shaw

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

— George Bernard Shaw

Words are only postage stamps delivering the object for you to unwrap

— George Bernard Shaw

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

— George Bernard Shaw

Besides, do any of us understand what we are doing? If we did, would we ever do it?

— George Bernard Shaw

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

— George Bernard Shaw

A man who is not a communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still communist at…

— George Bernard Shaw

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the…

— George Bernard Shaw

The British are apt to make merits of their stupidities, and to represent their various incapacities as points of good breeding.

— George Bernard Shaw

The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping…

— George Bernard Shaw

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is…

— George Bernard Shaw

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

— George Bernard Shaw

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no…

— George Bernard Shaw

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

— George Bernard Shaw

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each…

— George Bernard Shaw

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen…

— George Bernard Shaw

“HIGGINS [*snatching a chocolate cream from the piano, his eyes suddenly beginning to twinkle with mischief*] Have some chocolates, Eliza. LIZA [*halting,…

— George Bernard Shaw

We must reform society before we can reform ourselves.

— George Bernard Shaw

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

— George Bernard Shaw

When we know what God is, we shall be gods ourselves.

— George Bernard Shaw

Though I can make my extravaganzas appear credible, I cannot make the truth appear so.

— George Bernard Shaw

Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.

— George Bernard Shaw

Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen.

— George Bernard Shaw

My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.

— George Bernard Shaw

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

— George Bernard Shaw

When you find something funny search it for hidden truth.

— George Bernard Shaw

When it comes to the point, really bad men are just as rare as really good ones.

— George Bernard Shaw

It's just as unpleasant to get more than you bargain for as to get less.

— George Bernard Shaw

Morality consists of suspecting other people of not being legally married.

— George Bernard Shaw

All government is cruel; for nothing is so cruel as impunity.

— George Bernard Shaw