I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I was on this path to becoming a computer-science guy, but I didn't like it. I got no joy from it. It was very,… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' It's an easy… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I want to be so famous that I'm the pop-culture reference that people would make to try and be racist to me. So I'd… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
Because of the Internet, you're sort of forced to deal with people from very different backgrounds and beliefs. It's a great challenge of our… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
I didn't know if I could be funny on stage or write a joke. But I saw that there are no rules. If you're… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
A lot of times, it seems like social media has devolved into people just yelling at each other and not really conversing. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists. — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!'… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
Studio execs were like, ''Lord of the Rings!' People want to see sword-and-dragon-type things!' No, people just want to see great stories. Hollywood always… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
