I've never gone to a bachelor party, where I didn't, no matter how much I loved the people there, hate them so… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I hate it when I see people texting at a show. And talking to each other. They're at a performance; they should… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I don't hate oatmeal raisin, but it is the worst cookie. Profoundly disappointing. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I think that's something that people don't realize enough about when they get into comedy - it's not just about sitting back and observing… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
Dinner is often a very celebratory environment, a very safe place, a time to reflect and let the day go and enjoy good food… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I honestly don't see how anyone can view the GOP and the Right as anything but evil. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
Deeper things, heavier things happen to you as you get older and makes you more open. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
What a great way to make some money is just fine somebody $300 if their phone rings in the theatre. That'll make them remember… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I think that all the Mel Brooks' company of actors is just tremendous. It was a crazy group of genius people. All of them… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I've definitely had my hard partying moments. I've definitely had the long stretches of time in my personal life where I've felt an intense… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I love 'Seinfeld.' That was not alternative. You can't get more in mainstream than that. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I'm not a stranger to depression and desperation. I can be kind of tortured but I do like to have a lot of fun. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
As far as making people feel less depressed, that, in and of itself, is a political act. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
I'm an obvious example of how everyone is spiraling out of control on the show and just trying to live life the best they… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
At the end of the day, stand-up comedy is like acting when the audience are the other characters that I'm acting with. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
