“Old people only say that life happens quickly to make themselves feel better. The truth is that it all happens in tiny increments like now now now now now now and it only takes twenty to thirty consecutive nows to… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“Our Welsh teacher thinks he is young. He tells us that the Welsh for skiving in town is ‘mitchio yn y dre’.” — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
I don't know if I've come of age, but I'm certainly older now. I feel shrunken, as if there's a tiny ancient Oliver Tate… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“One more word that may be useful in the heat of passion: dong. Dong sounds like someone very important has just arrived.” — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
My mother tells me I do not chew my food enough; she says I am making it harder for my body to get the… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“I tell my parents I'm going out for pudding. They think this might be a nickname for heroin.Mum makes the international face for 'is… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“I authorize an air strike that reduces my street to rubble; I fold Swansea Bay like an enormous omelette and scoff it all” — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
I spin around on the swivel chair and look up at the ceiling; Oliver being Oliver being Oliver being Oliver. I am suddenly aware… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“I want the evening upon which we lose our collective virginities to be special. I'm no parthenologist but I suspect that Jordana's virginity is… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“Oliver, we’ve got something to tell you,” Dad says, dumping a cardboard box full of garden waste into a toad green mangler. Unlike the… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
For my last birthday, Dad bought me a pocket-sized Collins English Dictionary. It would only fit in a pocket that had been specially designed. — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
“Seducing Jordana was solid – she's got such high standards – but when I finally got the snogs in it was all worth it."… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
I find that the only way to get through life is to picture myself in an entirely disconnected reality. I often imagine how people… — Joe Dunthorne Copy Share Image
