“So, tell me about this guy. Did you meet him at work?" "Eww. You know I'm related to everyone in the restaurant.” — Ashleigh Stevens Copy Share Image
Black people beating whites when a thug got shot holding a gun by a black officer haha (expletive) cracks me up! Keep… — Steve Clevenger Copy Share Image
“We should get these wet clothes off," I say conscious now of the cold. A smile breaks over Colton's face. He raises… — Jessi Kirby Copy Share Image
“There! Now we're friends!" declared the minx. "Say you're sorry about my sister -" "I am desolated!" "That's a good boy!” — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
“At the sight of the dozen assorted cupcakes, as bright and optimistic as party hats, Louise's eyes lit up. "How wonderful!" she… — Meg Donohue Copy Share Image
And hey, it's okay to laugh at yourself sometimes, I do dumb things all the time (haha). But when it get's too… — Christina Grimmie Copy Share Image
Getting dragged, kicking and screaming out of the ring, begging for mercy from whomever it is that fires me, and never be… — Chris Jericho Copy Share Image
“He dragged me back - just in time. A tree had crashed down on to the side walk, just missing us. Poirot… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
I'm glad I got to introduce myself to America by doing a Britney [Spears] song, haha! — Melanie Martinez Copy Share Image
“He'd more than achieved his goal; as usual Boyd had the ability to completely blow his mind. If insanity had a temporary… — Sonny Hassell Copy Share Image
“Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?" "No! Good God, no!” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I'm tryin' to be part of a functioning society so I can't listen to Curren$y man. His rhymes make me high haha. — Sean Price Copy Share Image
I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler! — Santino Marella Copy Share Image
I have the best relationship in the world! BE JEALOUS! Hahahaha!!!!! < 3 ;D xD — Rayy Copy Share Image
Boy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you are beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue how many… — Hailey Noelle Copy Share Image
My family is the treasure. I thank them heartily but I can't say this seeing them face to face since I'm too… — Daesung Copy Share Image
The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two-year suspension for a lawyer found having jailhouse sex with a triple murder… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Hidan: Hey, look at that, it's my headband! You went to the trouble of picking it up and keeping for me? I'm… — Masashi Kishimoto Copy Share Image
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. He said, Excuse me ladies,… — Broken Soul Copy Share Image
“Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me > omg > boner.” — Leah Raeder Copy Share Image
