There's a reason I'm a stand-up comedian. I think there may be some laziness inherent in that job. It's the four-hour work week, on some level. I mean, I work at it, but it's not that kind of... it's just… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love! — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
