I like playing a bit of golf. But, if people went around beating people to death with golf clubs, I'd say, 'Ban golf. I'll take up tennis' — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I know that this sounds grand, but I don't try to compete with other people. I like to think there's enough pie for everyone. The kind of people I'm competing with are my heroes - Woody Allen, Billy Wilder - who I know I'm going to fall short of. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share
It's not like I think: 'By the age of 40 I've got to be an international household name.' When the opportunity to perform comes… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Things don't get better when you become well known or go on TV. I'm just being rejected by a better class of women. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
There's this way pop culture has been rammed down our throats that people think that if they were just in the right place at… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
When I started to mention to people who know about such things, 'I'm doing this game, 'Portal 2', they got very excited, suddenly. More… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Once I began doing stand-up, I didn't get a kick out of the applause or being the centre of attention - but I did… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I've always been a fan of physical comedy. It kind of hits you in a different way; it bypasses the intellect and hits you… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I wish I could write 'Taxi Driver,' or 'Blue Velvet,' something brave, audacious, dramatic and dark. I don't know if I have the darkness… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
When I was a teenager, I met a comedian who I admired, and he was very rude to me. That's why when people come… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
Remember that film 'Sliding Doors,' when John Hannah woos Gwyneth Paltrow by reciting Monty Python sketches? I can tell you now that doesn't work,… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for the first… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
I don't have any hidden depths; I'm a very superficial person. It's a constant frustration to me. — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
