Waitress asked, 'Can I get you guys something to drink?' I'm alone. She giggled at her flub. I solemnly said, 'She's only been gone a week.' — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
I just clicked on a YouTube recommendation because there were giant t*ts in the thumbnail. You win this round, Internet. — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
My girlfriend was just accused of 'Fucking up the social ladder.' Aww, sounds like someone's upset they weren't a step. — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
Sincerest apologies to the friends who have to guess my drunk 'Draw Something' creations from last night. — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
I learned that women are soul-sucking leeches who want to dip their heels in tar and stomp on your heart repeatedly until it beats… — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
Yes. Some girls 'fake geek,' for a myriad of reasons. Some guys do too. Also? Many don't. Now STFU and get back to cat… — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
Can't stop crying. Everyone dressed up for my last day. Some even showered. I'm going to miss this team so fucking much. — Kevin Pereira Copy Share Image
