When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
“Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
I don't want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
